Travis Touchdown is back with a modern coat of paint in No More Heroes 1 & 2 on PC and Nintendo Switch. Touchdown gets enthralled into the world of deadly assassins and goes on a journey to rise up the ranks of number one assassin. With his trusted beam katana he cuts down his competition one by one for the crown at the top of the assassin mountain.

No More Heroes is a 2007 action video game series, it is developed by Grasshopper and published by Xseed Games. The first two games are currently available on PC and Nintendo Switch.

Editor’s Note: A PC review code for No More Heroes 1 & 2 were provided by Xseed Games in support of this review, the Switch copies were purchased by me. Spoilers for both titles may be present within this review.

Relive or experience No More Heroes 1 & 2 for the first time.

If you were lucky enough to grow up during the era of the phenomenon that is the Nintendo Wii then chances are you’re at least somewhat aware of No More Heroes. It became rather infamous for it’s uber violence harsh language, and the fact that you slice and dice opponents with a freakin’ beam katana like some kid having a nightmarish Star Wars fever dream. In No More Heroes you play Travis Touchdown; a no holds barred asshole with a heart who wants to get to the top of the assassins’ rankings and get laid by the beautiful Sylvia Christel.

Jerk away to charge your beam katana in No More Heroes.

THE GOOD: The first game starts off with an introduction to Travis Touchdown. A stereotypical otaku who won a working beam katana from an online auction. He soon meets Sylvia Christel who informs him of the world of professional assassins. Sylvia wants Travis to dethrone the current number one rank, Travis agrees if Sylvia agrees to sleep with him upon his victory which she happily accepts. Travis meets his first opponent rank 11 Helter Skelter whom he kills and usurps for the number 11 spot officially becoming a member of the UAA or United Assassins Association. Following the defeat of rank 10 Sylvia warns that now that he has become an official member of the UAA he not only has to continue his climb to the top, but he might also have aspiring assassins to deal with as well.

As Travis continues his climb in ranks he begins to question his morality as well as that of the UAA. This is sparked by meeting Shinobu Jacobs an 18 year old presumed black female ninja assassin looking for the UAA member responsible for killing her father. When Travis pulls out his beam katana she accuses Travis of her father’s murder as he was the original owner. Following Shinobu’s defeat Travis refuses to kill her wanting her to grow stronger as an assassin. When Travis defeats the fifth rank he meets Henry who also wields a beam katana. Travis reaches the top rank assassin a woman named Jeane; Travis’ childhood love interest who killed his parents and the namesake of his pet cat. Jeane reveals to Travis that the UAA is a con constructed by Sylvia and that she killed his parents because they share the same father whom molested her and enslaved her for years after causing her birth mother to commit suicide. This would lead to Jeane prostituting herself to afford her martial arts training to enact revenge.

It’s heavily implied that the former top rank Dark Star is Travis & Jeane’s birth father though never confirmed. During their battle Jeane nearly kills Travis, but he’s saved by Shinobu allowing him to deliver a kill blow to Jeane. Henry returns and reveals to Travis that he is his twin brother and also confirms Jeane’s story about Sylvia being a con artist. Henry also reveals that Sylvia is his wife and Travis defends Sylvia while implying they slept together. Henry & Travis fight while going over their respective lives and the events surrounding them. The battle is suddenly revealed as a painting on the wall of a museum being observed by a young girl named Jeane and her mother Sylvia insinuating a time skip as the game ends.

Travis Touchdown cuts away at his enemies in violent fashion in No More Heroes.

The second game “Desperate Struggle” starts three years after the events of the original. Travis has walked away from the assassin life after becoming top ranked. Upon his return home he faces Skelter Helter the brother of rank 11 seeking revenge. Sylvia tells Travis that Helter’s rank is 51 and Helter as he dies tells Travis that his co-conspirators will hunt him down. Travis’ friend Bishop is murdered by the group leading to Travis seeking vengeance of his own. Sylvia informs Travis of Jasper Batt jr. a business tycoon who attempted to take over a pizza joint but was thwarted by Travis multiple times. He now holds a monopoly over Santa Destroy since Travis’ retirement. As Travis once again rides the ranks his moments of guilt are shown. Sylvia organizes a battle royal with several assassins who are killed by Dr. Letz Shake from the original.

Shake is defeated and reveals that he captured Henry. Henry is suffering from memory loss, but eventually recovers and kills three assassins for Travis leading to the two reconciling. Shinobu also returns and through Sylvia’s instructions kills assassins for Travis as well. She attempts to come on to Travis, but is rejected after the latter finds it too pornographic and creepy. As Travis fights the remaining assassins he argues with Sylvia that they’re still people and shouldn’t be used for entertainment. He then swears to end the UAA for good when he reclimbs the ranks. Travis reaches Bat jr. and Bat tells Travis he’s seeking revenge for his father and two brothers whom Travis killed in the first game. Travis with the help of Henry defeats Bat and he returns home completely retired as an assassin. The woman from the peep show earlier in the game is revealed to be Sylvia detailing the story to Travis they reunite as Travis tells her they have unfinished business in Santa Destroy.

Much of No More Heroes’ gameplay is hack n slash, but you can do side jobs such as mowing lawns to earn money. There’s also some collectibles such as new outfits for Travis and new beam katanas to use in combat. If you stun an enemy Travis can use pro wrestling moves such as a piledriver for death blows. In the second game much of the combat has remained, though there is some slight changes such as dual wielding beam katana. Henry and Shinobu are also playable in the second game . Shinobu’s section is more akin to a platformer, whereas Henry can quick dash. The in-game currency “pay to play” element that was admittedly tedious in the first title has been removed in Desperate Struggle for easier progression.  Mini-games such as jobs for money returns in the sequel and there’s a new boss replay mode.

New weapons and character upgrades are present in No More Heroes.

THE BAD: No More Heroes’ biggest issue is that it can be a bit repetitive with the gameplay. This is down to the hack n slash and side job quests to earn money. Honestly these days I’m sure developers would kill for repetition to be their main issue with a game. If that’s all you got wrong with your project with the way the industry has gone lately hell you’re doing something right.

Lack of updated features hurt the remasters for No More Heroes.

OVERALL THOUGHTS: I played both No More Heroes titles when they first came out at 17 & 20 years old. For a game franchise swiftly nearing twenty years of age NMH and it’s sequel are still two of the best game releases of all time. A remaster doesn’t need to do too much to feel like a big deal current year and that’s the feeling I get with the No More Heroes ports. More content is always nice, but if it doesn’t feel necessary then don’t do it.