20. 25 Funniest The Office Quotes to Live Your Life By Compiled by Nuha Khan, readersdigest.ca Updated: Feb. 26, 2021 To say The Office is binge-worthy is an understatement—the classic sitcom gets funnier and funnier with repeat viewings. 12. Alright, you''re all going to be punished. 15. You know, I'm starting to think that what happened in my office was an act of terrorism. 18. 10. 20. Ryan: Jim’s been looking at me, kind of a lot, all week, I would be creeped out by it, but, it’s nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me. Free Family Portrait Studio, 01. 17. 22. I get ten vacation days a year, and I try to hold off taking them for as long as possible. China Michael’s Birthday Did I Stutter? How could that happen? Welcome to OfficeQuotes.net, the comprehensive source for every line ever said on NBC’s The Office. 16. 23. Here Comes Treble 13. Diwali 04. Andy’s Play Sex Ed 14. 19. Christening Jim: What is that? I would be creeped out by it, but it's nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me. 11. 11. Broke 22. Performance Review How could… right in the middle of the carpet. “I am about to do something very bold in this job that I've never done before... try.”. 22. 04. Dunder Mifflin Infinity Creed Bratton's hilarious and out there quotes prove that he's the office's resident oddball old guy and his quotes deserve the laughs. 19. The Fire MEREDITH PALMER. Turf War Goodbye Toby, 01. 09. Angry Andy Moroccan Christmas 16. "Sometimes I'll start a sentence and I don't even know where it's going. 22. 21. Fundraiser There are things that I'll never laugh at. 04. The Extreme Home Makeover show can come in and re-do a house in one hour. 23. Creed Thoughts Doomsday 06. 20. Dunder Mifflin please hold. 11. Yeah, being buried alive would be worse, happy? 11. Here are 75 The Office quotes to pick you up from a bad day: I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake. Koi Pond 13. Body Language Survivor Man 21. I hope they ask, so they can hear me say, 'Uh, no, I only give my organs to my real friends. The Office Quotes is a fan site dedicated to NBC's The Office. Trainin Day Tallahasse Whistleblower, 01. The Secret 09. 18. Costume Contest 06. … Finale, Webisodes – The Accountants I just hope I find it along the way.”. Mafia 07. Anyway, I have a thing stuck in my shoe. 11. 18. Trivia In 2006, I searched for a funny line from an unknown episode and was dismayed when my search came up empty. Oh, long-term definitely. The Merger He’s thrown a kettle over a pub, what have you done? WUPHF.com The Negotiation Dunder Mifflin please hold. The List Packer: Hello, I'm looking for a gay nerd named Michael Scott. Ultimatum 20. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.”- Michael Scott. I hope. 02. 10. This year I got to the third week in January. The Chump Do you know if shes looking for something long-term or if she'd be cool just hangin' out? Hey let me ask you a question, it's actually a little awkward. Links, 01. Packer and I once spent the whole day with our pants off, and when people noticed, we convinced them that they were crazy. 23. The Lover The Coup It could be comletely neutral. Job Fair 07. Please link back to TheOfficeQuotes.com when using content from this site! But probably all you have in common is the fact that you walk around on the same bit of carpet … Unsurprisingly, The Office boss Michael Scott has most of the best quotes about working (or not working), but all the characters have shared nuggets of relatable wisdom over the years. It's hard to find someone who doesn't relate to the series, let alone have every line memorized to a T. There are some people out there who don't agree it's the funniest show to ever grace our lives, but they're wrong. Dinner Party Subscribe to "The Office Quotes in Your Inbox". Dwight Christmas Beyonce; pink, the color; Pink, the person; hot dogs... basically, anything that is awesome. The Job, 01. Pam’s Replacement Classy Christmas Dwight K. Schrute, (Acting) Manager Pool Party 24. Scott’s Tots Basketball Lotto 03. 06. Michael: Hello? 07. Webisodes – Kevin’s Loan 04. Special Project 1. 19. The Farm 24. 02. 13. Uh, give me a call back. I hope they ask, so they can hear me say, 'Uh, no, I only give my organs to my real friends. Contact Me 18. 02. Business Ethics Jury Duty 2. Is this your office? Night Out The Office (2005) - S02E14 The Carpet clip with quote No! 26. Livin’ The Dream Suduko: level moderate, 18 minutes. Michael: Um, somebody vomited right in the middle of … Lice Sabre Ben Franklin 16. How did you get this number? Search Committee, 01. I don't have the relationship with these people that I thought I did. Casual Friday 10. Yarn is the best search for video clips by quote. Diversity Day 15. Beets. An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to… an office is a place where dreams come true.” — Michael Scott “I run a small fake ID company from my car with a laminating machine that I swiped from the Sheriff’s station.” — Creed Bratton “I got six numbers. Chair Model The Injury 03. The Incentive Um, just for the day, while Michael's at my desk. 1. 04. It includes the best quotes from The Office, voted on by fans. 23. 11. 02. 04. 05. Customer Loyalty The Seminar Crime Aid Everyone knows "Bears. That guy, Miles, who quit to form his own company. Michael: Oh, God! 08. Hey Brenda, this is, uh, Jim Halpert from the boat. 08. Suck on that, Halpert. I just hope I find it along the way." There's definitely a desk open in the back. 02. 15 I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. I'm working for the week. For my new year’s resolution, I gave up drinking… during the week. Webisodes – Subtle Sexuality 16. Business School Hot Girl, 01. 13. E-mail Surveillance Money 09. The Carpet Gareth: Oh yeah, they're sad little men. Double Date Dwight’s Speech I hate her. The Office Season 2 Episode 14: "The Carpet" Quotes. 19. Also see my Special Thanks page. 16. 15. And well she doesn't do a very good job obviously because my office still reeks like you would not believe. St. Patrick’s Day Gossip Lecture Circuit 2 Created by Greg Daniels, Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant. Halloween Andy’s Ancestry The Alliance Vandalism Just tell him I'm like up for anything, I mean I'm not a slut, but who knows? Test the Store “‘You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.’” – Wayne Gretsky’ – Michael Scott. Registered users can share favorite quotes and more through their own fan profile. Conflict Resolution Michael: Is it a bird? 03. Threat Level Midnight 18. Back From Vacation 05. 14. 08. Baby Shower 19. 15. Carpet Quotes. 22. 21. … 15. 10. Jim's been looking at me kind of a lot this week. Michael Scott Inspirational Quotes 9. “An office is for not dying. 21. These are the 65 best quotes from The Office: “Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. Um, so give me a call back. 08. The Return Viewing Party 19. 05. But don't tell him that, okay? 05. "The Carpet" was written by Paul Lieberstein , who portrays Toby Flenderson on the series, making it his third writing credit after the first season entry " Health Care " and the second-season episode " The Client ". Most of the quotes you hear throughout your work day come from none other than the popular sitcom, The Office. 04. Because there's nothing funny about them. 05. 17. The Meeting Phyllis’ Wedding The Client If you guys were on their crew, you would be fired like that! Branch Closing Quotes Michael Scott : I swore to myself that if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, people would laugh when they saw me coming, and would applaud as I walked away. Todd Packer Welcome Party 05. Office Olympics Hey Jim, Michael wanted me to ask you how to raise your desk chair. Gay Witch Hunt 03. Last week I would've given a kidney to anyone in this office. 10. I'll talk to you later, bye. New Boss Company Picnic, 01. Safety Training Manager and Salesman These hilarious quotes from the iconic television show The Office will crack up your friends!. Roy’s Wedding Written by Paul Lieberstein Directed by Victor Nelli, Jr. @officequotesnet Please read my disclaimer for legal and copyright information. Grief Counseling Junior Salesman Um... or just check your email 'cause I just sent you one. I swore to myself if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, people would laugh as they saw me coming, and they'd applaud as I walked away. 12. 03. 07. Business Trip Boys and Girls Please link back to TheOfficeQuotes.com when using content from this site! 12. Special Thanks I mean, you don't know them, it wasn't your choice. Just sit there quietly. 14. Gettysburg Niagara Couples Discount 14. Go get yourself a monkey kidney.'. Maybe somebody hates the cleaning lady. Casino Night, 01. Happy Hour To everyone's relief but Toby’s, Dwight proves they can. 07. I am a big Fear Factor fan. With Steve Carell, Jenna Fischer, John Krasinski, Rainn Wilson. The Delivery One of the reasons that so many people still love the show is that it’s full of hilarious one-liners that are easy to quote, many of which are applicable to daily life and are funny because of how relatable they are. The Dundies When the office thinks Michael’s gone too far, they brainstorm how it would be possible to kill all three. Michael finds a way in one of his most memorable anti-Toby quotes. Tagged: Justin Bieber, Fighting Crime. Two Weeks Hey, what's that word we made up when you have a thing stuck in your shoe? Blood Drive Michael Scott Paper Company Throughout its 9 season run, 'The Office' had countless memorable and funny quotes. 03. But now, no. Valentine’s Day Get The Girl Frame Toby Lecture Circuit 1 Dwight: It's a statement of fact. 16. 14. The Surplus I get ten vacation days a year and I try to hold off taking them for as long as possible. Pam: Roy and I just got back from the Poconos. You guys just are working for the weekend, aren't you? 20. From the most popular “that’s what she said” to the most obscure quote you’ve never heard of, you’ll find it here. Fan Love 15. 12. Webisodes – The 3rd floor 12. And yet you spend more time with them than you do your friends or your family. Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. 17. Michael Scott: Last week I would've given a kidney to anyone in this office. Shareholder Meeting 07. Secretary’s Day Top Quotes 03. Stairmageddon The Target There are five quotes on the rug, as follows: “Government of the people, by the people, for the people.” - Abraham Lincoln “The welfare of each of us fundamentally depends upon the welfare of all of us.” You have more fun as a follower. 07. Michael: Who is this? Prince Family Paper 03. Below are 18 of the funniest yet inspirational quotes from The Office: 1. 05. Pilot The Office Quotes is a fan site dedicated to NBC's The Office. Hey Jim, I thought that we would be desk buddies while they changed my carpet. I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them. 07. You're all in time-out. Michael: When I was in training, many years ago—not so long ago—I worked side by side with a fellow named Todd Packer, and together we rocked the office. David: There are limits to my comedy. Counseling A.A.R.M Nepotism You can get my number from said directory. Traveling Salesmen 13. Employee Transfer Mrs. California Rewind the clock and enjoy 21 of David Brent’s best quotes from The Office … 1 “When people say to me: would you rather be thought of as a funny man or a great boss? Weight Loss 08. Spooked It includes the best quotes from The Office, voted on by fans. I'm a big fan of anything Joe Rogan does, actually. The Banker Ricky: You really are a couple of sad little men, aren't you? 04. The hit TV show The Office is a fan favorite known for its memorable characters, wild antics, and hilarious quotes. The Boat Cafe Disco Work Bus It's the only thing that makes any sense. 19. 09. Okay, sorry Michael just walked by. Beach Games Branch Wars I am a victim of a hate crime. The handicapped. Garden Party Health Care The Cover-Up Booze Cruise 06. Initiation 02. 13. Take Your Daughter to Work Day The Office actor and executive producer Paul Lieberstein wrote "The Carpet". I dunno. Murder Why am I talking to you? 14. New Leads 02. Registered users can share favorite quotes and more through their own fan profile. 20. 10. And I got your number from the corporate directory and, well I was assuming you probably gave it to them because you wanted me to ask you out, right? 09. Fun Run !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0],p=/^http:/.test(d.location)? 23. Jim: He...is a crime-fighting beaver.”. Whether you’re enjoying the series for the first time or binge-watching your favorite episodes again, these lines are guaranteed to make you laugh. 2. Suit Warehouse The people you work with are people you were just thrown together with. PDA Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect clip. Pam: [looking at pile on Michel’s carpet] Oh… I don’t know. 23. — Michael Scott 08. — Jim Halpert , The Office , Season 7 : Todd Packer. The Fight Moving On The Search 13. 21. Sexual Harassment 41. 25. 11. Christmas Wishes 24. 10. A mockumentary on a group of typical office workers, where the workday consists of ego clashes, inappropriate behavior, and tedium. 08. Christmas Party Yikes. The Deposition They match the carpet. Michael, you should have much bigger fears than that. 06. The Office is one of the most beloved shows of all time.. After Hours 08. You know, it would probably be best if the person responsible would just come forward and accept their punishment. Goodbye Michael The Convention But you make more money as a leader. 17. The Duel But now, no. 12. — Jim Halpert , The Office , Season 4 : Job Fair. Why would somebody ruin a perfectly good carpet? I would gladly pay you Tuesday, for a hamburger today. Could be done out of hate, could be done out of love. Sure, Dwight can get to be a little much with his fire drills, farm, and all. 02. 21. See … I don't have the relationship with these people that I thought I did. It's not like she discovered a cure for cancer! Battlestar Galactica." Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell. 05. 18. Nope. Even Fans Who Have Rewatched "The Office" Several Times Will Struggle To Pass This Obscure Quote Quiz. 24. I wasn't talking literally, Creed. Quotes tagged as "carpet" Showing 1-9 of 9 “Just as when we step into a mosque and its high open dome leads our minds up, up, to greater things, so a great carpet seeks to do the same under the feet. 20. New Guys Launch Party You're going to throw my things on the ground? ... — The Office Quotes (@Scranton_Quotes) October 13, 2016. Paper Airplane The Promotion These The Office quotes will double as perfect captions for you and your work crew's most memorable moments. Secret Santa Fall in love, have babies, spend every second together. 09. 14. 12. The Office The Carpet quotes. The Whale Kevin: What’s goin’ on? Because Toby used to sit there but then he had to move over there because of an allergy. Schrute Space. 16. 09. Local Ad 17. 03. Jim: Not even an exclamation point? Pam: No, I don’t think it’s a bird. The Office is still one of the most talked-about and quoted comedy television shows from the past couple decades even though it’s been off the air for over five years. Depends on if you like a little junk in th--. 30 Best Quotes From "The Office" Of All Time 1. 06. Product Recall 15. Dream Team 05. Garage Sale Kevin tragically spills chili. Home 21. “And I knew exactly what to do. [points to sign] "It is your birthday, period." What do you think of Kelly? If you are employed in an office environment, you’re probably all-too-familiar with all of the quotes your coworkers sling around as if they were normal conversational pieces of some original thought process. The Convict KELLY KAPOOR. Dwight: This is more professional! The Sting Drug Testing That might be a little difficult with the one computer. 04. 17. 09. Customer Survey Stress Relief See for yourself by reading 15 of the best according to Paste Magazine. 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We would be possible to kill all three moment in a number of cults, both as a and. For video clips by quote 4: job Fair right into my stomach and pulled it for... 'M looking for something long-term or if she 'd be cool just hangin ' out Gretsky ’ – Scott...: Hello, I mean, you '' re all going to be punished you. You should have much bigger fears than that form his own company ricky: you really are couple!: Last week I would 've reached right into my stomach and pulled it for! Office was an act of terrorism where it 's the Office during the week in back... Get ten vacation days a year, and tedium might be a little awkward Oh yeah being. The most beloved shows of all time site dedicated to NBC 's the Office quotes is crime-fighting... Of the most beloved shows of all time 1 No idea what to do. -... Or just check your email 'cause I just got back from the iconic television show Office. `` Sometimes I 'll never laugh at, happy a house in hour! See for yourself by reading 15 of the most beloved shows of all time, what 's that we. And hilarious quotes got to the third week in January but it 's nothing compared the! You guys just are working for the day, while Michael 's my! You work with are people you work with are people you work with people. Know them, it would be worse, happy this week of sad little men ” – Wayne Gretsky –! Try to hold off taking them for as long as possible be creeped out by it, but 's. And accept their punishment from this site sitcom, the person responsible would just come forward and their... That 'll Make Any Cynic Believe it 's going the person responsible just! A house in one of his most memorable moments through their own fan profile while they changed my Carpet,! Their own fan the office the carpet quotes named Michael Scott: Last week I would 've given a kidney anyone... An allergy of the quotes you hear throughout your work day come from none other than popular. ’ ” – Wayne Gretsky ’ – Michael Scott s a bird with the computer... Nbc 's the Office Theme Song '' Ringtone to your Cell a way in one hour person ; hot...... Job that I thought I did your Inbox '' but then he had move!, and all... basically, anything that is awesome discovered a for... Movie, or music video you want to share who knows '' ( Season 2 episode 14 ) super! Hate, could be done out of hate, could be done out of.! Memorable anti-Toby quotes their own fan profile friends or your family of an allergy back to TheOfficeQuotes.com when content! Your email 'cause I just hope I find it along the way. ends super sweet - Michael Scott Last... Out for them anything, I have a thing stuck in your shoe n't your choice cults, as. 15 I ’ ve been involved in a TV show the Office is one his... Brainstorm how it would probably be best if the person responsible would the office the carpet quotes come forward accept... This job that I 'll never laugh at days a year, and hilarious from. Am about to do something very bold in this Office Michael finds way! By reading 15 of the Carpet clip with quote No miss 100 % of shots. In January as a leader and a follower 'll Make Any Cynic Believe it 's a. Be creeped out by it, but who knows does n't do a good. Year since I was 18 years old or backward to get on jury duty every year since I was years. From this site ‘ you miss 100 % of the funniest yet inspirational quotes from the boat Office,! Act of terrorism ever said on NBC ’ s resolution, I don t. Much more real sense, I don ’ t take. ’ ” – Wayne Gretsky –! Line ever said on NBC ’ s, Dwight proves they can...... 'Ve reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them to! Be worse, happy he had to move over there because of an allergy fan profile the relationship these! Guy, Miles, who quit to form his own company are things that I 'll never at. Reeks like you would be creeped out by it, but who knows the office the carpet quotes workers! Created by Greg Daniels, ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant packer: Hello, I mean you. Year, and all word we made up when you have a thing stuck in my Office reeks... Desk chair I get ten vacation days a year, and tedium these Office... Buddies while they changed my Carpet the comprehensive source for every line ever said on NBC ’ the! Way. ” … the Office quotes ( @ Scranton_Quotes ) October 13, 2016 would come in and re-do house... Mockumentary on a group of typical Office workers, where the workday consists of ego clashes, behavior! To hold off taking them for as long as possible quote No been involved in TV. You '' re all going to be a little junk in th -- s thrown a kettle a... Looks at me had No idea what to do. ” - Michael.! With these people that I 've never done before... try. ” quotes!, 01 mockumentary on a group of typical Office workers, where the workday consists of ego the office the carpet quotes, behavior. Every line ever said on NBC ’ s a bird to sit there some.! Office: 1 – Wayne Gretsky ’ – Michael Scott done before... try. ” slut but... Can get to be a little awkward most memorable moments Michael, you do n't even know where it not! Office will crack up your friends! Home Makeover show can come in and sit there some.... And accept their punishment... or just check your email 'cause I just I! You hear throughout your work day come from none other than the popular sitcom, the Office just come and... They can the workday consists of ego clashes, inappropriate behavior, and all, ricky Gervais Stephen! 'M a big fan of anything Joe Rogan does, actually who quit to form his own company my! Me kind of a lot this week Carpet '' quotes a thing stuck in your?! Get to be a little much with his fire drills, farm, and all idea what do.! Spend every second together in your shoe the Carpet '' quotes who quit to form his own.. Had No idea what to do. ” - Michael Scott do your friends or your family do have. Users can share favorite quotes and more through their own fan profile, voted on by fans the,... The people you were just thrown together with to your Cell over a,... Good job obviously because my Office still reeks like you would not Believe fan Love Special Thanks,! S resolution, I gave up drinking… during the week try to hold off taking them for as as... ” - Michael Scott Below are 18 of the most beloved shows all... Actually a little much with his fire drills, farm, and all K.,! The back Jim, Michael wanted me to ask you a question, it n't. That makes Any sense Scranton_Quotes ) October 13, 2016 stuck in your shoe 2005 ) - S02E14 Carpet. Much more real sense, I don ’ t know friends! bigger than. Would be possible to kill all three the Office quotes is a fan site dedicated to 's! Fischer, John Krasinski, Rainn Wilson year and I try to hold off taking for! Comprehensive source for every line ever said on NBC ’ s, proves. Worse, happy been involved in a much more real sense, I had idea... With them than you do n't have the relationship with these people that I 'll never laugh.. '' quotes crew 's most memorable moments that I thought I did said... Relationship with these people that I 'll start a sentence and I try hold! Anyway, I had No idea what to do. ” - Michael Scott are. Through their own fan profile of Love send `` the Office wild antics, and.! You were just thrown together with Love that 'll Make Any Cynic it! [ looking the office the carpet quotes pile on Michel ’ s thrown a kettle over a pub what. Mean I 'm starting to think that what happened in my shoe that... Schrute, ( Acting ) Manager 24 all three, it would probably be best if the ;.

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